Today I attended a wedding... a summer wedding. Since being diagnosed I luckily haven’t had to attend many dress-up events. This one was unavoidable.
Since it was an outdoor wedding, I decided to wear a very light dress that I had purchased last summer to combat the Dallas heat while looking “nice.” While wearing this dress last year I had had a picture taken of myself in it. (Rather that picture was forced on me to take, but I took it.)
Looking at that picture from last year and the ones taken of me today in this dress, my expressions are uncomfortably different. I’m not happy in either picture, but for vastly different reasons.
Last year I had a “please don’t take my picture” expression. The kind of look that someone who isn’t comfortable in their own skin would give you when you try to take their picture. Except, I had no reason to fear the camera. Last year I was fit and trim and looked great… perhaps too fit or too trim, but I looked good… strong… fine. There should have been no reason for me to shy away from that camera or any other.
This year I had an “oh my goodness how do I get my leg out of this picture” expression. I held an awkward pose and pained expression that would give anyone looking at the picture a reason to question what’s up.
What does this tell me? I need a photoshoot. I have to acclimate myself more to taking pictures that represent the way that I feel and not the way that I feel that I look. (Don’t worry, writing that down will hold me too it. Stay tuned.)